Matinya Di Daerah Asing

10 bulan lalu, dia diambil pergi. Bukan kerna kemahuan. Bukan atas kerelaan. Tapi kerna terpaksa. Jika diberi pilihan, pastinya dia mahu terus tinggal disitu. Di daerah kelahirannya. Di daerah dimana dia menghabiskan warna-warni keremajaannya. Daerah di mana dia belajar mengagah dan mencorak warna awal hidupnya. Di situ dia mengecap nikmat hidup. Hujan, panas, terang perit dah jerih, walau sesukar mana, dia tetap gembira. Baginya di situ ada jiwa. Dan jiwa itu adalah segalanya.

Dan, hampir 10 bulan juga dia telah berada disini. Dunia baru. Satu daerah yang asing, tandus dan statik. Di sini segalanya kaku. Dan disini, dunia ini seolah-olah menidakkan kewujudannya. Ah, dunia apa ini? Si penjaga yang membawanya ke sini juga seolah telah sesat dalam dunia statik ini. Dalam dunia ciptaannya sendiri.

Dan selama 10 bulan itu jugalah dia cuba untuk meyakinkan diri untuk mencorak warna hidup di daerah baru. Namun hampa. Semakin hari, keyakinannya semakin terhakis. Tertekan. Hidupnya sepi. Melur tiada disisinya. Begitu juga Lili. Dua teman rapatnya. Dulu, ketika mereka bersama, di daerah itu, perkataan sunyi tidak pernah wujud dalam hidup mereka. Sentiasa mereka bersama, mendongak mentari dan menadah hujan. Itulah catatan diari harian mereka. Semuanya dilakukan bersama. Jemu? Ah, jauh sekali. Namun, Tuhan tidak memberinya kudrat untuk menolak takdir. Bukankah takdir itu datang dari-Nya? Dan takdirlah yang telah memanggilnya ke sini. Tuhan juga tidak memberinya kudrat untuk kembali menagih hidup ke daerah tinggalannya.

Dua hari lalu sakit telah datang menjemputnya. Noktah.

Hari ini, dia menghitung detik2 waktu pengakhir kisahnya. Tidak pernah terfikir di benaknya yang hidupnya sebegini singkat. Dan sesepi ini. Hina sangatkah dia? Menghitung detik akhir berseorangan. Bila?

Matinya disini.

".. manapun aku berlabuh.. pastinya untuk disambut, biarpun tak bersungguh.. biarlah tak tertangguh ditelapak kaki mu.. ... sakit....."

~ ehehe ~

Pause Of The Day

It is 7.45am. And this is me, sitting in my car and listening to my favorite songs. Firstly, I should thank to whoever invented this tiny thing that we called a cassette player, or a disc player, or a mp3 player, or whatever people may called it elsewhere in this planet. Secondly, I should also thank the carmaker for installing this car with a disc player, so people like me who spent 8% of the day --> in my car, alone <---, would have something to listen to. Brilliant invention !!! Just imagine, what a person would do, sitting alone and driving from point A (Kangar, Perlis) to point B (Johor Bahru) without having any kind of entertainment or communication ?? Did you ever thought about it ?? I guess, people like me can always do with singing, but for how long ? Until out of voice ? Until my throat went dry ? Hmm.. so, what I am trying to say is, I should be thankful to God! Thankful, for still having a great sense of hearing (one of many). And for the tiny disc player, ahakss! And of course, the Cranberries CDs!

Outside, nothing move. I am in a complete state of stationary. On my left, a chinese girl driving a green MyVi, and like me she's also trying very hard to understand (I believe so, judging from her expression) what life she has got into, trapped in the maze of traffic, and the brain start to process all the available options and possible way out from this state. At the moment, there is no practical answer. Nope. But I believe that each and everyone out there, like me and the chinese girl in the green MyVi, who trapped in this bloody maze almost everyday would somehow, in their mind thinking about what life have they got into. And I also believe that more than half of them are blessed for having a companion or atleast something to listen to. Am I right ? Or to hell with that thought ? This maze is killing me !! Ever since the government reduce the fuel price, people starts to drive again. Majority of them think they have an extra buck to be spent and driving is again become a habit, especially during this rainy season. Eventhough I don't have anything to prove on the relationship between the fuel price and our driving habit, I strongly believe that my point is valid. Just believe it. The are times in life where we should only hear what our natural sense has to say, no question to that, and no need to prove anything. Gut says!

So, I took out my cellphone and snapped a few shots of the fine morning. Took a picture of cars infront of me. And took a picture of the sun. What a good thing to do huh? Enjoy the morning and enjoy the moment! Atleast I manage see the morning sunlight. Wish that I have this luxury everyday. The luxury of not having this weird feeling in me whenever I sit in my workstation. Ah, just a stupid wish though! During this period of worst economic climate, complaining about life is the last thing I should do. No matter how negative is my perception towards life and ahead, I have to live with it! c'est la vie!

Time moving so slow, a minute seems like an hour. Honk !!! Ah, got to go now, before the whole world start to screams at me! And finally, everything around me starts to move!

Meet me again in future entry.